How to Get Your Family and Friends Interested in Tabletop Role-Playing Games
July 19, 2020 · 7 min read
Role-playing games are one of the best ways for a group to hang out and have a good time, whether that's your family or your friends. The best part of tabletop role-playing games is that they mostly don't need technology, so everyone can be fully present.
There are several ways to introduce the RPG genre to friends and family, and time and patience are key to building an introductory session, which is usually a short adventure that lasts a few hours. Keep in mind that getting into RPGs can become an investment, with handbooks, miniatures, and, most importantly, dice sets. And remember that some people will say right away that RPGs are not for them, or try one session before backing out. That's okay.
Choosing the game
The first thing to do is research which role-playing game you want to introduce. Familiarize yourself with its rules, since they vary between games, expansions, groups, and Dungeon Masters (DMs).
The two most common choices are Dungeons & Dragons and Pathfinder, both of which have plenty of expansions and miniatures for building settings and campaigns (see our comparison, Dungeons & Dragons vs Pathfinder). Dungeons & Dragons was the more expansive of the two when this article was written, with new books arriving every few months that add scenarios, playable character types, and classes. Pathfinder is a good alternative, with many rules that are almost the same and a few key differences. There are also many other role-playing games, including ones based on big franchises like Star Wars.
How to get friends and family to play
Getting people you know to play involves finding out what they like, and then weaving those interests together. That way each person has a part of the story that interests them, and your scenarios become more interesting too.
Some friends and family members simply won't be interested, and that's normal. Don't push role-playing games on them; focus on the people who are. It also helps to ask what games they've played before. That usually means tabletop games, but it can extend to video games, TV shows, movies, and books. If they like fantasy, you're more likely to convince them to play. And once a few people agree, the holdouts often get curious and eventually join the party.
Gateway games
One way to win people over is to start a regular game night first. Don't dive headfirst into a full RPG, or you risk coming across as the person who takes it too seriously. Start with a gateway game instead, whether it's a tabletop game or a video game, to get everyone used to gathering and playing together.
Plenty of games share DNA with RPGs. Some card games help too, since they involve creativity and problem-solving, which are a major part of both Dungeons & Dragons and Pathfinder. The most useful gateway games are the ones where each player takes on a specific role. A good gateway game should be:
- Easy to learn. Pick a game everyone can pick up quickly. The mechanics they learn may even feel familiar later in an RPG, which makes it easier to convince them to try one.
- Fun. If your friends find the gateway game boring, they'll be wary of the RPG you introduce later. If it's fun, they'll associate your game nights with a good time.
- Right for the mood. Match the game to the occasion. For a large gathering, choose something faster-paced.
Keep in mind that the goal is to have fun with every game, not just the RPG you're building toward. With that said, here are some games that work well for a gathering:
- Apples to Apples
- Metal Gear Solid: The Board Game, great for introducing the idea of playing a role
- Werewolf, which builds the problem-solving and table-talk skills used in Dungeons & Dragons and Pathfinder
- Pandemic
There are countless other games that can help you set the stage for your first RPG session.
Preparing for the event
The first RPG session should be memorable. Set a date well in advance so you have time to write your adventure, and so your players have time to create their characters, which takes a while on its own.
It also gives them a chance to choose a race and class. Dungeons & Dragons has the most options here, since its expansions have added many races and classes to explore: from the classic humans, elves, halflings, half-orcs, and dwarves to orcs, goblins, kenku, tabaxi, kobolds, and other creatures usually reserved for enemies. Classes are just as varied, with options like the artificer and the popular blood hunter joining the classic fighter, barbarian, druid, paladin, warlock, and rogue. You can even use homebrew classes to make a campaign more unique, as long as you make sure they're balanced.
Treat the first session like a date: set a place, a day, and a time. That gives your players a deadline for finishing their characters and a reason to make plans to attend. Sessions take hours, so it's important to plan ahead. It's also worth picking which days of the month work best for regular sessions, since they double as time to hang out.
Some conventions also host tables for newcomers. That's another good way to introduce friends and family to role-playing games, in a public setting where they can see how others play.
Food
Food is an important part of any session, since everyone will be sitting in the same seat for hours. Let your guests know there will be food waiting; it gives them one more reason to come over and play. You can order in so everyone can eat while they play, or have players bring their own and decide whether to eat first or during the game.
If your players are of legal age, a few drinks can help some people relax into character, but keep it moderate so everyone can keep track of the game. And if hosting at home doesn't work, many cafes welcome RPG sessions, and some exist just for that purpose. Taking your group to one lets them eat and see other people running campaigns too.
Dealing with distractions
Much of what makes the game exciting is immersion, so external distractions can make a campaign difficult. As the host, minimize them, and set a few house rules for when the session is in play. For example: phones and computers are for game use only, with no outside chatting until a break.
Pick music that fits the theme of your campaign, since anything else can make it feel more like a party than an adventure. Have the setting prepared before players arrive; it looks bad to set everything up during the session, and you don't want your guests drifting off to watch a movie while they wait. Encourage players to eat while you're setting up if you'd rather not have crumbs on your maps, and chat with them before you begin. Finally, tell everyone when you're starting, so they can finish what they're doing and be ready.
Know the rules and be a fair host
Starting the game is one thing; knowing the rules is another, since both the host and the players have codes to follow. There are far too many rules to memorize in one sitting, and reading them all aloud at the table would be a waste of time. Rules can also change with each expansion.
As the host or Dungeon Master, be fair to everyone, and never single out a player to torment. Prepare each session so that monster and boss encounters challenge your players without overwhelming them.
Be aware that your players can derail the campaign at any time, ruining a boss battle you spent hours planning. When that happens, improvise to keep the campaign afloat, for example by introducing a consequence that comes back later in the story. Be patient with questions, too, and be ready to repeat rules whenever you're asked.
You may also need to rein in the "murder hobo," a player who kills characters just to derail the campaign. Introducing consequences for that behavior keeps the session fair and keeps everyone else from feeling their game is being ruined.
Buying miniatures for the game
To prepare for the campaign, or to encourage players to keep playing, visit a local game store and let them pick out their own miniatures. Game stores often sell food and may even host your sessions if you don't have anywhere else to play.
The downside is that some stores charge a table fee, which can make playing at home more appealing. The upside is that stores may lend miniatures to players and even provide their own sets for a campaign, which helps players who can't afford to buy their own yet. You can also 3D print miniatures from designs available online, or substitute LEGO figures or other small toys. RPGs are all about immersion, and imagination fills in the rest.
Conclusion
Once you get all these steps right, the last thing you need as host is a big imagination, because that's what will keep your guests coming back. Your ideas should fuel hours of fun, adventure, and lore-building, since the world of your RPG is being laid out in front of the players, both in their imaginations and on the table.
You can also run lighter sessions that give characters time to develop, with slice-of-life moments that add story and a bit of comedy to your campaign. Add homebrew creations to make it a little more unique. But the most important thing is that both you and your guests have fun.
